Aren't You Hungry?

The first argument Lovely Boyfriend and I ever had occurred late one night as we drove around Los Angeles looking for a place to eat. We pulled into the parking lot of a Thai restaurant he fancied just as they were locking their doors. Scanning the neighborhood, I began to feel desperate; every place seemed to be switching off their OPEN signs and flipping chairs onto tables. I don't know what happened. Maybe I suggested some place he didn't like, or vice versa, but I was starving, and we were fighting.

Obviously, I wasn't actually starving. It probably hadn't been more than five or six hours since I'd last eaten. The worst case scenario: I wouldn't eat again until morning, but such an idea was unthinkable. There was a physical and emotional urgency to my empty stomach. Eventually, we drove-thru and bought a large order of fries and a soda and everything was fine. Everything except that I'd almost ruined a fun-filled day because I was terrified of missing a meal.

Sometimes, when I fell into a short-tempered mood, Lovely Boyfriend or one of my daughters would ask if perhaps I needed a snack or a nap. Sometimes I needed both! It could mean hurt feelings or other activities pushed aside until I'd taken care of my basic needs. My rational mind knew whatever I required would be provided, but I wasn't thinking with my higher self.

Since switching to a primarily Raw diet, daily naps have become a thing of the past. Generally, I power through the days, and then hit my mattress hard at night. Even better, the desperation surrounding the nagging feelings of hunger has, for the most part, subsided. There's a sense of freedom in knowing that when I sit down to a meal I can eat until I am satisfied, because everything on my plate is good for me. I still savor the flavors and smells and textures of a wide variety of food, but my attitude around it has decidedly relaxed. Now, if I can just apply the same zen-like perspective to the rest of my life...